I Do, may never be spoken again from our lips,
but ‘I Do’ is Declared each day with our lives.
Just two syllabols and yet they possess immeasurable worth and significance. The weight of these words go far beyond the moment they are joyfully spoken; for they are lived out and expressed through a lifetime of service, commitment and devotion.
Great enthusiasm and excitement fills the atmosphere as the Bride and Groom face each other proclaiming “I Do”. And for the married who once proclaimed the same, unless we renew our vows, we may never actually recite these words ‘I Do’ again. However, we do live them out, communicating them over and again through a lifetime of love, compassion and serving one another selflessly.
It’s echoed in the moments we offer understanding, grace and patience. It’s words are felt deeply as we put our spouses needs above our own. So, how do we get back to those altars where we once stood with confidence, assured this was ‘the one’. That this was the only one person we wanted to spend each remaining day of our lives with.
I believe as we are thankful and make a conscious effort to start remembering all the wonderful characteristics, unique traits and talents of our spouse and stop rehearsing the negatives, the annoyances and the let downs- our devotion, love and joy will be renewed.
We won’t be standing in black and white at the altar, but we can stand daily before God at the altar of our own hearts, letting the purity of His holiness sanctify and unify our marriages.
When we forget the true gift that marriage is we tend to feel less appreciation for our spouse and without gratitude our hearts become cold and distant. Unfortunately, this can open doors for division and resentment to set in. Then before we know it, smiles turn to sorrow and somehow disappointment is all we can see.
Remember your first love. Jesus said to the church in Revelation to remember their first love. He knew how easily we can forget – forget how awestruck we were at the beginning of our relationship and how we simply overflowed with gratitude for God’s Word and how back then we appreciated every single moment spent with Jesus.
The act of ‘remembering’ can stir and awaken that first desire of new love.
As we look back upon the moment we exchanged the words “I love you”, how the wonder and thrill captivated us, binding our hearts inseparably. And how that fire burned with such a passion we’d share every moment of our spare time, to be close and connected.
And when I choose to intentionally remember the gifts, the grace and all the blessed good, my heart is filled up and my cup overflows out with gratitude.
- Continue in the ‘Little’ things…
We’ve heard it said, “it’s the little things” which make a difference, conveying to us – we are loved. Listening may seem like a small gesture, but it’s a huge implication of our respect towards our spouse and people in general.
When we offer our attention, we communicate our affection.
My husband doesn’t declare his love by boasting aloud to others or writing on facebook how in love he is. Rather it’s how he gently places his hand on my head and whispers prayers late at night. It’s how he smiles sweetly when I say something foolish or silly, ensuring my security. So continue in the little things because they really do make a very BIG difference.
- Love learns to let go….
We major so much on the minor and minor so little on the major. Real love learns to simply let go. Let go of what’s trivial, so there’s space and energy to hold each other tight when there’s actually a trial.
Because honestly if you’ve asked him to put his clothes in the laundry basket for the hundredth time, it’s time to ‘get over it’ and stop asking. Yes it’d be one of those ‘little ways’ he shows his love, but if he doesn’t, we can show our love as we quit badgering him. You may like to keep things organized and tip top shape, but he may be the type to sleep on his bed with mounds of laundry during his bachelor days.
So compromise, not your values or your virtue, but how you decide priorities and handle differences.
If Christ is the cord that ties your marriage together, then it shall not be easily separated, broken, or torn apart. “…A threefold cord is not quickly broken”(Ecc.4:12).
“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed”(James 5:16). Confess so that your marriage may be healed.
Sin in marriage will always steal our trust and if we begin to lose that, it will feel as if we’re losing everything, because at the heart of a solid relationship is trust and if cracks are found at it’s foundation, then the marriage begins to crumble and can eventually fall apart.
So, confess your faults to one another, especially when you’ve wronged your spouse. Because rapidly those little pesky weeds will grow in number, quenching the life from what is beautiful and fruitful. We think attitudes are acceptable at times, but they’re not. Let’s be quick to guard our marriage against the little offenses, so that harmony and peace continue in abundance.
Confession will keep hearts close in kindred unity.
Let’s be intentional to remember, to confess and to count the blessed characteristics of the spouse we are wed to. May we continually give thanks for all the little-big ways He says ‘I Do’ as we learn to accept and let the unimportant things go…